Honestly, I thought sugar dating would be a lot easier than this.
I assumed apps like Yoitoki, paters, and sugardaddy would let me match with someone, look a bit cute, meet up, and that the guy would decide all the terms and conditions. I was way too naïve.
Table of Contents
- “Sugar dating negotiation” “If they ask about conditions in sugar dating…” My first time, all I could do was keep quiet.
- I froze when they asked, “How much allowance do you want?” even before our first meeting.
- The despair when someone says, “Would you be ok with something more adult? Depending on the amount...”
- What if they never bring up the terms during the initial meet-up?
- The method I learned on YOITOKI to “get my point across without negotiation”
- Knowing the going rates, and knowing your own worth
- Tips for negotiation: Don’t be too forceful, but don’t be too shy either
- Sugar dating is something you learn from experience
I froze when they asked, “How much allowance do you want?” even before our first meeting.
It was about two weeks after I started sugar dating.
I matched with an older man who seemed kind on Yoitoki YOITOKI. His messages were polite, so I felt a bit relieved.
But when it came time to settle on a date,
he asked, “By the way, how much of an allowance are you hoping for?”—and I just froze staring at my phone.
“Wait, am I supposed to say it? What should I do?”
I remember frantically googling “sugar dating negotiation” and reading everything I could find online.
The despair when someone says, “Would you be ok with something more adult? Depending on the amount...”
This was with a different guy,
but instead of just asking about conditions,he wanted more from the very start.
Saying, “Would you consider an ‘adult relationship’ if the conditions are right?”—it felt less like a negotiation and more like a transaction.
Even if you search for “If they ask about conditions in sugar dating,” I feel like people don’t really talk about these situations.
But it happens a lot, especially to beginners, and it can be scary.
In my case, I politely replied on LINE, “I’m not looking for that kind of relationship,” and that was the end of it.
What if they never bring up the terms during the initial meet-up?
On the other hand, it can also be a problem if they don’t ask anything at all.
We could chat for about an hour at a café and still not a single word about “the terms” or “allowance.”
He was easy to talk to, so it felt even harder to bring up money from my side… and before I knew it, he said, “Thank you for today, see you next time!” and left.
No transport money, no reply after being read. It was a total “free meal case”.
Looking back, maybe if I’d said something like, “What kind of partner are you looking for?” I could have gotten a better idea of his intentions.
Yoitoki: The method I learned to “get my point across without negotiation”
What really saved me as a beginner was the Yoitoki YOITOKI profile feature.
Because you can set things like “preferred conditions” and “transportation costs” right in the app from the start, there’s no need to negotiate awkwardly—the message gets across naturally.
For example, I wrote “Meet & greet: with transportation, meals only” and “no adult relationships,”
and more people contacted me after reading that, and the weird negotiations stopped happening as much.
Knowing the going rates, and knowing your own worth
Even if you search “If they ask about conditions in sugar dating,” you can’t really decide without knowing where you stand.
Sure, there’s info saying meet-and-greet goes for 5,000–10,000 yen, meals only for 10,000–20,000 yen, and more for adult relationships…
but the fastest way to figure out where you fit is to actually meet a few different people.
By my third date or so, I finally felt confident enough to say, “I think I can ask for this much.”
Tips for negotiation: Don’t be too forceful, but don’t be too shy either
“If I could get around ◯◯ yen, that would be helpful.”
“I’d feel more comfortable if I could get transportation fees up front.”
I realized that the important thing is to be clear, but also polite.
If you try to hike up the price too much, it just creates trouble;
but if you’re too reserved, you’ll end up with another free meal case.
This sense of balance is probably the hardest part.
Sugar dating is something you learn from experience
“Sugar dating negotiation” “If they ask about conditions in sugar dating”
It’s completely natural to be confused at first. But there are things you can only learn from making mistakes.
The important thing is not to devalue yourself, not to have unrealistic expectations of the other person,
and to have the courage to “communicate clearly.”
If you use platforms like Yoitoki YOITOKI, where you can specify your conditions on your profile beforehand,
even girls who aren’t good at negotiating can slowly start being themselves.
I’m still super inexperienced too,
but I feel like I’m gradually figuring out “my own rules.”
